Hope and Wonder

So you have to wonder sometimes. You know, about things. I wonder about a lot of things most of the time. The usual stuff applies, of course, like where will I be a year from now? Two years? Five? and will I like it when I'm there? And I suppose the not-so-usual stuff applies as well, like, will I ever write anything the world will want to read or will I ever get to learn how to play the hammered dulcimer and I hope my wife won't be allergic to dogs.

I mean, do you ever wonder? Sometimes I wonder and hope so much it hurts. Sometimes it hurts too much to give wonder the room it needs to do its magic. People say, sometimes, that we need to be where we're at, to live in the moment, to "just be," as my mother would put it. And that's cool. But it doesn't mean that I don't wonder. And it doesn't mean that I don't hope.

I guess I've just been thinking a lot. Some stuff is really serious, others less so, just sort of a curiosity about my future more than anything. Other times I'm curious about my past.
Once upon a time, I was really excited for the rest of my life even though I had no idea what that would include. Four years later, I am still eager to see who I will become...who I am becoming. Sometimes I like it, and sometimes I'm not so sure. Either way, I guess I won't have to wait all that long. Tomorrow will be here soon.