Swing the door wide, Annie. Let the breeze on in.

I deleted the previous post. I just don't care anymore.

It's an interesting season. A lot of change is in the air, but articulating that further is hard to do. The future, inscrutable as it is, makes putting change into concrete terms--before it happens--a difficult task. I mean, there are the simple things that really are big things, like a new job. Which is right around the bend, it seems. Just waiting for the callback, really, which at this point is virtually inevitable. And then there's the possibility (and probably the probability) that I will be driving a new car before the leaves drop. The Stratus is in it's last days, and I can't afford to put much more money in it. It would be unnecessarily prolonging the life of something that is ready to die; it would be money misspent. So a new job and a new car.

And then, of course, at least one of my roommates is leaving before the summer ends. So the living situation is going to change, and that could mean moving. But where to? I could stay on College Avenue or I could look for apartments in Michigan. I'm free to do that, if need be (just a random example). So a new job, a new car, and, at least to some degree, a new living situation.

Is that all, though? I'm not inclined to think so. All of these things, of course, material though they are, will significantly affect my life; they are indicative of other significant changes--even if only smaller ones--as they branch out to other areas of my life which they touch. And there's that whole thing about how "the natural things speak of the invisible," and while your theology might interpret that idea differently than someone else's, I think there's truth to it at some level. The natural world and the spiritual world are a lot more connected than we think most of the time.

But even if the changes in the my material world are spurious to the goings on of my spiritual world, I still think there is internal change in the air. The class I am in right now, Foundations for Ministry, is about individual formation for ministry and preparation for service to the Body. Leadership and Self-Reflection are two of the biggest themes in the class, and as such I am having to confront, address, deal with, ponder, pray about, study (etc.; take your pick) a lot of things in my own story and current walk. And I think it's impossible to really engage something like this class without inaugurating some degree of change--so long as the engagement is honest, prayerful, and real. And I'm more than ready for it. I desperately want it.

So to that end I have been reflecting a lot about my own walk, past and present, and what the future--what God--holds for me. It is a multi-faceted, mult-layered thing with a lot to sort through, because it touches so many different things which are yet interrelated in some way. It's hard and it's good, and sometimes a little painful. And even that's good. I feel like some season--undefinable at this time, as it were--is coming to a close and a new season is beginning--also undefinable at this time, as it were. But I can tell you that I'm expecting good things, even if they are hard--things that aren't significant in the sense that they are incredibly drastic, but significant in the sense that I am stepping into something I haven't before. It's like...growing into something. Something that has been there all along, but now it's starting to fit properly. Something familiar and yet entirely new. Something like...

Well. Something like fresh. And that has me more than a little excited to see just what it is the summer will bring, job, car, home, whatever. Change is good. Swing the door wide.