You Asked, I Answer.

Never doubt it again. The delivery boy delivers. Let's start at the beginning.

1.

Ms. Best,

Thank you for your query. As it turns out, I have seen "Armando and the bee-OTCH" and it was simultaneously the best and most awful film I have ever had the privilege-slash-misfortune of seeing. I particularly enjoyed Armando's expletive-laced breakdown during his attempt to spell "restraint" and, later, "composure." Who doesn't love irony? And the scene with his deaf grandmother was as beautifully touching as it was highly disturbing. The puncture scene was just a little weird though. But I digress.

You wanted to know about my "experience with this syndrome and how [I've] seen it discriminated against in [my] workplace and/or personal life." All I can say to that is that whatever they might tell you, it wasn't my fault. There's a fine line between "belligerently yelling cuss words" and "shooting the breeze" and I shouldn't be held responsible if customers can't tell the difference. Besides, the tape-recordings were dismissed in court.

2.

PS,

Thank you for your query. I really don't have any idea what you're talking about, but I thank you nonetheless. I was born this handsome and if that equals "coming up with the best facebook pictures any man [or woman] has ever seen" then I guess that comes with the territory. How's life?

3.

smeller,

Oh, you better believe I has. I has out the waz. Thank you for your query.

fin

In closing, ask me more questions, and I'll write more answers. I know you're out there. You people from Wellington and Williamston SC, somehere Nebraska, Leeton MO, and various places in Rock Hill and Fort Mill and other places, too. Scroll down. My map tells me you're here...